Midlife Musings
Fortysomething. If my life were a TV show, that would be the title, and these are the episodes. Or maybe I am just having an episode.
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Why I’m Missing Out – Stuck on the Edge of the Dating Pool
Six years ago, in a state fourteen hundred miles away, I got divorced. I don’t know what I expected to feel many years later, but this isn’t it. I had no specific hopes that I would be all extra assertive and shit, comfortable flexing my singlehood and meeting men.
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Treading Water in a Pool of Misery – Abandoned by a Stranger
Today I had the rug pulled out from under me. At the start of the day someone dropped an information bomb on me and my insides sank. I’ve been trying to climb out of this pit of despair all day to no avail. But for all of this to make sense, I have to start a the beginning, so let’s go back to 2018.
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Reality Dreaming: Sparking the Fires of Motivation Under My Ass
Some people remember their dreams. Some I remember, some I forget. It depends. If the dream leaves me shaken when I wake up, then I am going to try to remember it. Probably why I keep paper and pen near my bed.
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Fever Dream – Ghosts from My Past and Watching Bandersnatch
I have a weird quirk where sometimes the more popular something is, the more I resist jumping on the bandwagon. Some latent habit left over from my rebellious youth ? A remnant of anti-establishment feelings that never really disappeared, perhaps?
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Conformity Destroys – the YOYO effect
Sometimes I get the sinking feeling that I have lost my creativity and have fallen into the rut of the status quo. I fear that adulting has cost me the spontaneity of youth, and all I have to look forward to is getting old.
