Have Passport Will Travel…

I love to travel. I guess wanderlust flows in my veins, I was never much of a homebody growing up. Something about apartment living almost necessitates expanding the boundaries of life beyond the walls of home.

In my post-divorce life I am once again living in an apartment. Either my new independence or being in the apartment (or a combo of both) has rekindled my need to explore the world around me. 

The hardest part of traveling is finding the finances to make it happen. Well, that and navigating the labyrinth of new passport regulations! Have you seen the application recently?

I feel like I need an advanced degree in bullshit to get through all the provisions necessary, not to get my passport renewed, but to get a new passport for my sons! It’s wild… when did it get so complicated? Well, that’s not going to deter me. Neither is having a tiny income.

I learned in Financial Peace University that everything you need and want to do has to be included in the budget or else it will not happen, or worse, you will rob Peter to finance Paul. In the spirit of mindful planning, I am putting travel at the top of my list.

Unfortunately I missed many opportunities to travel far with my sons when they were young. I took many road trips, but we never flew. I want to take a cruise. I want to go back to Spain and share that country with my children. I want to take my sons to France. There were places I went to while I was in the military, places where I wished I had my children with me to share in the experience. That’s where I want to go back to. Those places and others.

I feel even more the pressure to travel, especially now that I am on my own. Now that I don’t have to answer to anyone else, please anyone else, or live by someone else’s schedule.  I also feel the pressure because am plagued with family who talks big but rarely act on their words.

For years there was talk of taking a cruise, all of us at the same time. Seven years this idea has been on the table, and still nothing. Frankly I am done waiting on other people. I was shackled to the whim and schedule of Mr Horrible for the best years of my life.

I am through letting other people hold me back. My brother works all the time and rarely considers taking time off.  My mother has more vacation and sick days than probably all her coworkers combined.  She is hesitant to ask for vacation time off, is convinced folks at her job probably keep tabs on her movements (it’s crazy town up in there).  When she takes sick days off she calls me needing affirmation that she did the right thing and she won’t get in trouble. 

Forget that. I am not going to let my life be ruled or constrained by the fear and hesitation of my family, and I will not allow myself to grow complacent in a bid for time.

Time waits for no one. I am not promised tomorrow. I can’t say where I will be in a year. I have to make a point to live my life to the fullest now, and in turn, give my two kids the best gift I can give them, and that is the gift of good memories. They can take those with them wherever they go.

So with academic schedule in one hand, and budget in the other, let’s see what I am able to pull off. Small goals, and big goals. Small trips and big trips… I am excited about the possibilities and I am excited to finally have something to work toward.

It’s been some time since I felt I had permission to hope and dream.