Miss Me, Miss Me Good

It is 2014, the dawn of a new year and everything is going great until I get a text out of the blue that disrupts my calm… it’s a text message from mr horrible. What does he have to say to me? Something stupid about how he misses me and he wonders if I miss him. Dude, no.

Next text: what would it take to move back to the East Coast? Seriously? Again, dude, no. Just leave me the fuck alone. I don’t want you.

Next text: Could I look past his infidelity? Hell no. I did it once and look where it got me, as he betrays me again 7yrs later. I made the mistake of staying once. I don’t make stupid mistakes twice.

This goes on for several hours, and he got frustrated, probably because the game he was laying down, the same manipulation that in the past would have netted him reward, was failing to work on me now. He didn’t get it though because he kept trying and in the end he got pissed off and reverted to his usual M.O. of name calling, cussing and rude comments.

Why he wasted the time with the whole exercise of trying to butter me up is beyond me. I avoid talking to him as much as possible. I think about him even less as the days go by. I’ve gotten busy with the job of raising my children and making something of myself. I definitely don’t have time to contemplate someone who doesn’t have any interest in their own personal growth.

It would be great if one day he would understand that I have no desire to ever associate myself with him again and that whatever our relationship may have been when we were in it, it obviously wasn’t real and I don’t believe represented the true me. People do strange things when they are in captivity.

Looking back on the 14yrs spent in that marriage, I think that I did whatever I had to do to survive. I am not proud of my behavior, and if I could, I would change a lot of it, but since I can’t, I don’t waste time dwelling on it anymore.

The only good thing that came out of that “conversation” via text was just additional evidence that moving to Texas was a great decision and that if it wasn’t for the insurmountable physical distance this jackass would be in my grill every fucking minute. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

It’d be great if mr horrible would come to this epiphany on his own. Maybe then he’d finally fucking grow up.