Unpacking Baggage, Excess and Otherwise…

I have stuff, and it all arrived finally this past week. Just so this happened the day after I picked up mr horrible from the airport. Happy coincidence? Yes.

It just so happened that I had no money to hire the movers the week prior.  I had to hire help to get the items out of my U-boxes and into my third floor apartment. I already had a taste of hauling boxes and furniture, what little I had brought with me, from my brother’s apartment to my apartment up two flights of stairs. I did not care for a repeat and I would rather shell out a couple hundred bucks to hire some guys to do the work for me than try I to do it on my own.

I’m frugal, not crazy…

I couldn’t have planned a better scenario– granted he rushed me and I am sure I ended up packing more than I should have as a result, but mr horrible helped me move things into the Uboxes in NJ. It was fitting that he be present when the time came to have them unloaded here in Texas.  It doesn’t hurt that I know what to expect from him, so a fringe benefit of having assistance from someone that would know what I wanted without too much instruction was a boon.

The movers were very nice, and I was pleased when they seemed impressed that I had packed each Ubox myself, meaning it was well done.

Compliment accepted! They worked very hard and I made sure to tip them accordingly. I couldn’t have done it without their help, that is for sure. An unexpected benefit of having had four strapping men helping me move items into my place was that it left mr horrible without anything to do, so he was left feeling useless while other men labored for me, and he stood around with his hands in his pocket.

Eventually he felt compelled to do something and moved items that he knew were garage/outdoor related onto my patio without having to be told to do so in order to feel useful. Hey, whatever made him feel better.

I didn’t do much unpacking when he was here, I did manage to have him help me rearrange things in such a manner so we would be able to relax for the rest of his visit. However, I wasn’t going to do any opening and arranging of boxes in his presence.

He made some passing comments about things he had not realized, or perhaps regretted that I had claimed for my own.

But I reminded him of the “you snooze, you lose” policy when I was packing my things during the divorce. It was his choice to avoid the entire process and as a result forfeited the freedom of choice with his absence.

So I took offense when mr horrible looked at the stacks of boxes in my dining room and remarks that I have more stuff than he does. I thought about explaining how that is a complete falsehood, especially since the bulk of the furniture was moved to his apartment of the items that weren’t sold or given away.

I thought about mentioning the number of trips it took to move what he and his son kept from the rental house to his apartment. I thought about refuting his claim with carefully constructed arguments.

Then I remembered the old adage that goes something like: “Never argue with stupid people. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

I was right not to trust him, as I found photos he took of my apartment on his phone. I can only think of a few reasons why he would have taken photos of my stuff, none of them good, so I deleted the photos while he was in the shower before he left and kept my mouth shut about the whole incident. Is he crazy? Yes. Was he going to take souvenirs of my life back with him like he owned a piece of my new life? I don’t think so. (If he doesn’t say anything about the deleted photos, I’ll take that as proof that he was up to no good)

I wish I had a few extra weekend days or even a holiday just so I can get some more unpacking done. Unfortunately I cannot neglect my college classes to spend time opening boxes and sifting through my possessions. Since I have limited amounts of free time, I decided to take a new approach to the project. I began with research.

I figure someone out there in the blogosphere has probably documented their experience unpacking and perhaps even posted about it.

Why not benefit from their trials and errors? I am glad I did because I had been feeling slightly overwhelmed on Sunday about opening boxes and getting started. But after reading a few posts and going through pinterest for inspiration, I was much more motivated.

I discovered that an unexpected bonus living without most of my belongings for five months is that now I have a better understanding of what I actually need to keep and what I can afford to let go of. I think back to this time two years ago and there is no way I would have had this same power to let go of things.

I clung to objects like they were going to keep my life from unravelling around me. I stayed in my rut thinking it was good for me and it would never change. Yet, a year later, everything had changed and I had to painfully process through the remnants of the life I had. These things no longer hold that power over me. I can look at the packed tchotchkes and I can calculate whether it has a place in my new life without the emotional attachment. This is a huge step for me.

So today, the first weekday after the “reconnaissance visit” (as mr horrible put it–which says more about his true intentions than he probably intended), I was able to make some progress and begin the unpacking process.

I’m not going to beat myself up for only spending the time to open and unpack two boxes. That’s two boxes fewer that I don’t have to unpack tomorrow…