Wardrobe Malfunction

Perhaps I suffer from an overabundance of personality, my clothing appears to be a mish mash of illogical pairings. I can’t seem to define what style of clothes I like to wear, because when I look at what I own, I don’t want to wear any of it. This is, of course, a first world problem…

In the process of cleaning my bedroom to accommodate a sudden visitor, I unpacked more boxes and tubs that had my clothes from the move. It was on my to do list for the week to get my clothes into my closet and hung up on hangers.

I purged clothes months ago as I packed for the move, shucking reminders of the past, ill fitting items and clothes that I just never wore. I don’t even remember how many bags of clothes went to Goodwill as donations. I know I could have sold some, or done consignment for some things, but I had to get rid of stuff in a hurry, there just wasn’t time for all of that.

I divided what I kept into that which I brought with me on the trip West, and the rest went into storage to be shipped to me later. Even then, of what I brought with me, I only wore 10% as it turns out. I wore the same 4 shirts all summer, and a variety of tshirts only suitable for sweating in at the gym or at home. I don’t know why that was, but I sure am tired of it. I do have other blouses and I don’t want to wearability them. They don’t feel like me, like I wouldn’t represent a genuine version of me in those clothes.

So as I am organizing my bedroom closet, I would only put in what I think I might wear in the coming months, esp if the weather has a chance to cool. Looking at the piles covering my bed, I know there’s plenty that I will never wear again. Like old skin, they are the last remnants of a life I no longer live.

In this process, because I was finding other clothes that were either of my kids, in the tubs, I realized just how much they have grown since we moved. I can get so consumed by just living that I forget time has passed.

So much of what I had packed for them thinking they would need it over the past summer and into this autumn was now too small to even bother taking to their room to be put away. It made me a little sad…

My eldest son described this time related phenomenon best when he told me the other day “Just when I think I’m forgetting the junk that happened, I’m reminded all over again and it’s like it just happened.” I couldn’t have said it better.

That’s the crux of the matter, even though I moved six months ago, and I hit the play button on my divorce proceedings ten months ago, it feels like it was much sooner than that. I am still on an emotional roller coaster.

New life means new clothes for me and my children. That’s good, who doesn’t like new clothes? The challenge will be making room in the budget for the replacement clothes. That’s not so good. No shopping sprees in my future.

At the moment the unwanted clothes are in tubs stacked in the corner of my room, not bothering anybody. I think after my visitor leaves will be soon enough to deal with the wardrobe issues.