My Do It Myself List

I am a list writer. I write lists of lists, and master lists of the lists that lists what’s on those lists. However, I also get shit done. I fully embrace that as an adult I am responsible for the outcome in my life and ever more so now that I have no one to depend on and Single Motherhood means that I have two young adults who need to follow in my shit-getting-done example.

On campus, I have taken on the additional responsibility of a little work study job that I really enjoy. It allows me to employ all my clerical skills and organizational talents, it’s not making me a millionaire, but it is cathartic and it has helped me build my confidence of a professional life post divorce, post SAHM-life, and as I re-enter academia.

Unfortunately, it has also exposed me to the immaturity of people who are really old enough to know better.

I am not the person to come to for sympathy when you want to whine about how you let things fall through the cracks because you were too lazy to do things for yourself and also not diligent enough in your own life to have planned for the inevitability that comes with being a full time student juggling the financial strain of college. I wonder how anyone manages to get themselves dressed and fed and to class as hapless as they make themselves out to be?

Whatever is holding them back, they need to wake up and grow up. So imagine my non-surprise when I catch myself looking down in disdain (mentally of course because it would be unprofessional to do otherwise) at the morons who come into the office to give their tale of woe.

Today, I was reminded how I, as an active duty (and sometimes deployed) sailor, and mother of two, and wife, had to do everything on my own with little to no support from my should-have-been-partner: mr horrible. In retrospect, divorced life is no different in the level of responsibility and work than it was in my married life, except that now I have fewer people to mind, and fewer areas that I need to police for non-compliance. Life is MUCH better.

Before, when shit would get done, many times mr horrible stole my thunder, or the credit and accolades. In his version of historical events, I did nothing.

When shit gets done now, the little people I am in charge of know just who to thank for making it happen. Life is grand.

I highly recommend list making as a coping mechanism.

It was an excellent coping skill I adopted to deal with the otherwise thankless job of being a full time stay at home mom. There’s no supervisor to report to, there was no one to give me accolades, and my every accomplishment was taken for granted and for the most part ignored, and overlooked.

So I had to cope with making lists to check off the items as I did them to prove to myself that I was making a difference and that I didn’t just laze around the house all day like mr horrible accused me of doing all the time.

The way he spoke to me, I imagine he thought there were fairies that were getting all the housework done, and cooking his food, and taking care of my children (and his rascal of a son from his previous marriage), and keeping after the dog and cat, and making sure all the bills got paid, and getting all  the maintenance done on the house.

So anyone feeling down in the downy dumps, or have someone in their life that takes them for granted, or just wants a way to take charge of their seemingly crazy and disorganized life, would benefit from writing TO DO LISTS.

Keep them short and keep them accomplishable. Get it done.