How to Ruin a Good Time – The Black Hole Situationship

Wanna know how to ruin a good time? Show up at a party, bring your messy emotional bullshit, and spill it all out over some worthless jackass. You’re not gonna find me catching feelings for a scrub. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. This is the latest episode of my friend X and the problematic black hole situationship he is in.

Picture it, Texas, 2023. My foolish ass friend X just left our post party gathering because the scrub he claims he’s on the outs with, just showed up with his rival. I watch in disgust as X exits the building because he can’t contain his tears. Pathetic. I do not follow him. So I will not be providing comfort I don’t think he deserves for a fuckup of his own making. Call me callous, but the fact is I can’t fake sincerity and he knows how disgusted I am with the person he hangs with (because they aren’t “dating” because the scrub refuses to label it – insert severe eye-roll here).

Rewind to the beginning of the night: X showed up at our holiday party by himself and then when one of his coworkers asked him if he was waiting for the asshole to show up he said yes. X wanted him to come and have a good time. I couldn’t stand to watch X self-destruct so I decided to hang out with my team, and select coworkers.

I literally just want to scream at X and ask him WHY DOES HE GIVE A SHIT if the scrub is having a good time or not?! He clearly didn’t want to spend time with X, and claimed he wasn’t going to come to the holiday party.

Why the fuck would he invite that kind of malcontent to spend time with him in public? And why, despite being warned repeatedly by his closest friends and family, continue to associate with someone who openly treats him like garbage? Who is costing him his credibility at work? Costing him his friendships, affecting his ties with family, and costing him his professional integrity? He is literally skipping work because of this asshole, usually through some manipulation orchestrated by the scrub who does not respect him and uses him!

This trainwreck of a person is literally going to be the reason X gets fired and yet he is DETERMINED to stand by this relationship, which he also claims is not a relationship because the jackass refuses to claim they are dating and in turn then releases himself from any liability in his bad behavior. Bad behavior such as openly parading going out with “other people” while at the same time being in this situationship with my friend.

So of course he shows up with the soup sandwich, not to the work party, but to the afterparty like they came from some other location while we were all at the office holiday party. Just blatantly flaunting in X’s face that he had other options and what those options are. X and the soup sandwich are for some reason weird rivals, mostly because X has no sense to create personal boundaries and has blurred the lines with this weird rival at work.

I think about this situation X has found himself in and it mentally causes me great pain. I literally can see how his story will end and it is not good. The longer he puts off the necessary breakup, the longer it will take him to heal, and he’s already not in the best emotional place to begin with. Which, I understand is also what attracted this abusive predator to him.

Most abusers seek out the ones who they want to control and destroy. The very characteristics that they claimed were the reason they found their prey attractive, suddenly are the reason that their prey is deficient and the cause of the predator’s anger. X is caught in a doom spiral with the scrub in control, and there is literally nothing I, nor anyone else close to him, can do to pull him out of this gravitational black hole. Except to get spit out once he is all chewed up.

So a perfectly good night was ruined and cut short, all because X refuses to face the truth of his fucked up situationship. What started as a chill fun night with friends and colleagues ended with unnecessary drama. Honestly, I was ashamed to see X devolve into a sniveling mess begging for the scraps of attention from the asshat scrub, and worse to be taunted and snubbed.

You wouldn’t catch me running out in tears over a man. Fuck that shit. If anyone was going to be in tears it was going to be the worthless mofo who showed up with another date. But that is the difference between someone who knows their worth and someone who does not. The one who knows their worth will not settle for scraps or scrubs.