In the Navy – Tales of Misogyny

A guy at work asked me today why this one other coworker was shadowing me today. It was not unusual that I was training someone. What was unusual was the who.

All of that is irrelevant, except that the topic who was shadowing me, led the guy to comment that he bets I would be good at this other persons job too. Short answer, yes I would. I have done it before.

Long answer led to me sharing some sea stories with this guy, and I realized that I haven’t discussed this part of my life with anyone in a long time. Sharing sea stories isn’t something that usually comes up organically in my conversations. Not since I stopped hanging out with all the veterans from college.

With veterans, even if you aren’t all from the same branch, we have all the same routines and general structure. Even if the jargon is a little different, we all get the gist and sharing stories and experiences can be a great way to build camaraderie.

Sharing sea stories with civilians gets a little more long winded because you have to relate it to things they are familiar with in regular life, or risk losing your audience. Fortunately, I have experience dumbing things down for folks, it is in my job description after all.

Unrelated to my walk down memory lane, the topic of female oppression, standing up for gender equality, seemed to be on everyone’s mind. Last night on Twitter there was some very NSFW tweets on the objectification of women and how it relates to consent.

This is all a very roundabout way to say that oddly enough, there is a good portion of the sea stories in my repertoire that have to do with being undermined as a woman in the Navy. Or being underestimated, because I was a woman in a predominately male rate (aka job) in the Navy. Or having to fight to be taken seriously as a leader/authority figure, because I was a woman in the Navy.

Only about 35% of my stories revolve around the expected drunken carousing that happens when you are a sailor in the Navy. None of those stories are safe for mixed company. Many of them are NSFW for civilian ears.

Very safe for work, the story I shared with this coworker today was in response to his comment about how I would be good at this other person’s job. It was about how I had done it while I was in the military.

It is rare that I share these tales with someone who has no point of reference. My sons were military brats, grew up around/on military bases, and experienced the military through both their parents. They grew up on the sidelines of the lingo and they get it.

My brother is also a Navy veteran, and though my mother never served, she worked at the VA Hospital in my hometown until she retired. Most of my post-military friends after the divorce were also veterans. Whatever stories I share with them, make sense on some level, intrinsic or otherwise.

My current social circle is legit the first group of friends and acquaintances, since the divorce, that are all civilians. They listen to my anecdotes with awe, and though they are just ordinary stories to me of things that actually happened, to an outsider they must sound pretty fantastical based on their reactions.

I told him of the time that I was in charge of an event committee. There was one time in the two and half years that I was Chairperson that a Chief in my division tried to convince me to step down and give the position to the LPO of the division so he could have the bullet on his eval to help him make chief. He thought it was a good idea, and wouldn’t I want to help his buddy out?

The LPO (Lead Petty Officer for all you landlubbers), though one rank higher than me, was a shitshow of a human being, with no redeeming qualities. (We called him FC1 Robitussin, because he never actually fixed anything, he only hid or masked the symptoms.)

It was a ridiculous request and I may be a team player, but that’s bullshit. Of course I refused. This did not endear me to this Chief, but I hated him anyway, so I didn’t give a shit if he was butthurt about it.

I wasn’t volunteering my time on that committee for a fucking bullet on my eval. I actually gave a shit about what I was doing, about the mission of that committee, and how I represented my Command. Therefore, they could go fuck themselves with their “idea”.

Shit like that happened more often than not. Misogyny is rampant in the military, but I knew that when I joined up, and what else have I been doing all my life if not upsetting the status quo?

Tell me I can’t do something, and watch me prove you wrong. You don’t know me.