I hope I make a face when this person I hate is talking because it is the most non-violent response I could have when this person opens their mouth. I have an incredibly low tolerance for shenanigans, and I have an even lower tolerance for excuses. And this particular bitch is pushing my limits for both.

No excuse is good enough to counteract the evil intent with which this bitch (J) operates under on a daily basis. What I mistook as useful enthusiasm in time turned into a Pandora’s box of things about her that just annoy the shit out of me.

I don’t care what size a person is, too tall, too short, average height, there is no excuse for acting like a raging bitch because you “expect that people aren’t going to take you seriously”. Maybe the reason why people treat J like a she’s a bitch is because she is a huge bitch and she behaves in ways that are unreasonable as she goes about her day making mountains out of molehills.

Let me explain.

Icepocalypse vs Toy Drive

Last semester we had a toy drive we were holding to help out a local organization that was sponsoring some families. Things were going well and we had a lot of support from the student body, when arrived in North Texas the Icepocalypse.

In the North or areas where the climate experiences a polar vortex every year ice storms are not a big deal. However, here in the south where the usual temperatures are in the 80 and above range, the physical state where water ceases being a liquid and becomes a solid equals a climate change of epic proportions.

People literally lose their shit over this. I came to Texas from the Northeast, and I don’t mind the ice or snow or cold temperatures. EXCEPT that because most people freak out and around here the bridges and overpasses actually do freeze before the roads do (imagine that!), I try to avoid going out and about when icy storms hit because I’m in more danger with the other crazies on the road who can’t drive in this weather.

So, I was incredibly irked when, the day of the ice storm, I arrive home and just as I am about to head back to campus (I had altered my schedule temporarily to support an event) I get the notice via text that the campus has closed until further notice because of the ice. Fine with me, if I don’t have to go to work, all the better.

Unfortunately, that meant that the plan to pick up the box of toys to bring to the local organization in time for their kid’s party that Saturday was now moot. However, the way the ice was coating the roads and sticking to every available surface, I didn’t believe anything would be open on Friday, much less on Saturday.

Arrangements Gone Wrong

Then I got the phone call from J that I had to get the box!! Oh no, I don’t think so. She proceeds to complain that if the exchange isn’t made tonight as she arranged it then the world was going to come to an end, or some other over-dramatic crap like that.

Did I mention before that J has no car and loves to volunteer the other members of our committee to do things, and will often obligate other people to show up at places/times knowing damn well that she has no authority to guarantee these promises she is making?? Then she adds that because she has already called campus police and made arrangements*, I have to show up because they’re going to be waiting for me! WTF!!

So after some yelling and making my displeasure known quite vocally to her that this is the last time something like this is going to happen, I get in my truck and drive to campus. When I arrive there I discover that the gates are literally padlocked and I have to wait just outside the gates for campus police to arrive. They put the box in the back of my truck and I began to drive home.

I Told Her So

On my way home, my phone rings, guess who? It’s the liaison at the local organization, calling to tell me that they have canceled the kids party for this weekend and so there is no need to worry about the toys today and she will let me know when they reschedule it and we can exchange the box then.

OMG. I told that bitch, J, that this would happen, there was NO REASON for me to risk my life and vehicle navigating the icy roads to campus to retrieve a box of toys NO ONE needed for another week and a half as it turned out. So is it any wonder that J has firmly planted herself on my shit list forever?

I hate the bitch and I made it known that I was quite done with her and that she had zero right to ever obligate anyone else on the committee to drive or be anywhere she could not fulfill herself.

In fact, the last meeting we had, I practically ripped her head off in front of everyone because she dared utter my name to volunteer me for some additional bullshit and I was having none of it. Not one bit. I went off. Don’t mistake my diplomacy for complacency.

Unfortunately, she is still an active member on the committee.

Despite having been read the Riot Act, she is still woefully unchecked and irritating beyond belief with her insistence that everything she thinks of is of importance level 1000 and must be acted upon immediately even though NO ONE ELSE agrees with her.

Major Interruption

She is the sort of person who when someone else has the floor and is talking to the group as a whole, she will start talking, and if no one pauses to let her interruption continue, she will attempt to talk over that person. How rude! I have seen people actually put their hands on her shoulders to get her to sit back down because she doesn’t seem to get that this behavior of hers is hella rude and obnoxious.

I found out later when I returned to work post-Icepocalypse, J’s insane actions* of that Thursday evening included calling the secretary of the president of the college who then called the Dean of Students who then proceeded to HUNT all over the main building for this box of toys, which he then called campus police to help him find, which is how they ended up with it. My supervisor got reamed a new one by his boss, the Assistant Dean, and in turn I heard about it when the campus finally opened on my first day back because it was now my responsibility to keep that bitch in check.

Why is She My Problem

I tried one time to reign her in, thinking she somehow saw me as an ally despite my blatant hatred for her as a whole, so I gave her a ride home one day after classes were over. I used that time during the drive to talk some sense into her, during which she shared with me that she came off as abrasive because she was used to people discounting her because of her size.

Um… sorry to disagree, but I don’t think her size has anything to do with the fact that people don’t take her seriously.

Instead, it has everything to do with the fact that she acts like she is stupid, an airhead, thinking that will endear her to folks (and maybe she doesn’t even realize she is doing this). As a result, when people talk down to her (not because she is barely 5ft tall) she takes offense and out comes the claws. Well, whatever the fuck her problem is,  she’s going about this all wrong.

I’m no Xena-Warrior Princess. I’d love to be much taller than I actually am. My height has never been a factor that I even consider when I think about how I am going to act. I definitely don’t act like I am dumber than others, certainly not dumber than the men in the room I am in. Hell to the no. The nerd factor may as well be a red letter emblazoned on my shirt.

But she acts stupider than a plastic Barbie and then wonders how come no one takes her seriously. This bitch has problems that only long counseling sessions can solve and frankly, I don’t get paid enough to give a crap. I am counting the days until this is just another episode of my life and I can move on to the next step of my evolution.