The COVID Diaries Day 10

Life in my faux isolation is business as usual. Other than not leaving the house to go to work, nothing much has changed in my routine. Before the virus I did not go to the local bar for happy hour. I don’t date, and other than hanging out with the people I befriended at work, or occasionally going out to the movies with my adult sons, I spent all of my time at home.

Before my current job, I worked from home for 3 years. So, again, no real adjustment there. It is almost surreal how normal my daily life feels. There is a vague sense of dread as if going outside might get me killed, but other than that, ordinary.

I figured out how to project my computer to the Roku TV in my living room. Leveled up my home work training experience! It will definitely make the next web meeting easier to see. In between all the small work related things I am able to do, I have been discovering issues around the house that I have to address.

Sometimes home ownership blows. But I have to be thankful for what I have. It is mine, after all, and because it is mine it is also up to me to fix it when something breaks. Like my garbage disposal.

I semi-regret looking under my sink because apparently there’s been a drip under there for some time and I had to pull everything out to get a grasp of the damage. I wasn’t really in the mood to deal with the leak right now, so I did what any good procrastinator would do and put a plastic bucket under it to catch the drip.

I looked in the dishwasher and saw that there was a shallow layer of dirty water in there too. And the switch at the wall wasn’t working. Could be a fuse? Could be the disposal itself. I can’t even with this shit right now. This is the only part of being single that currently sucks.

So I lit some candles and poured myself a glass of wine and watched some movies online. #avoidance

I don’t live alone, even if it feels like it. My sons live at home, but they are 20 and 18 and really don’t hang out with me unless they’re in the mood for it. They often remain in their own little habitats, as they have everything they could need in their own rooms, and only emerge for food or to use the bathroom. Days have passed where I see them for a few minutes in passing, even though we are sequestered inside and don’t leave the house.

Maybe that is why I broke the quarantine to take my mother to the grocery store two days ago. She seemed more subdued, perhaps a side effect of the pandemic. She did ask me if I had heard from the ex. I had to think about it because I don’t remember the last time I heard from him.

According to my text logs, it was three weeks ago, when he sent me a message speculating that he probably wasn’t going to make it to our youngest son’s graduation ceremony. At the time, the quarantine had not begun in either of our states, but the situation was worse where he was in New Jersey. And it was unlikely that he would be willing to risk a flight to see his son walk in his high school graduation.

At this point, I would be surprised if they actually hold the graduation ceremony at the end of May, especially since a few days ago the school district let all parents know that they are staying closed until May 4th.

I am assuming that the ex is still alive, though I doubt I would be notified if he got sick or died. My mother made me laugh out loud when she said, well maybe his family would contact you? Ha!

Which family exactly? The siblings who talked shit about me behind my back and never came to visit? Who? His father who I never met? His mother who I threatened with a knife during an argument and had to kick out of my house and never heard from again? Yeah, right.

So the quarantine continues. I still don’t know if he’s dead or alive. I may send him a text to check up on him if I remember. But on the other hand, he hasn’t checked in with me either, so clearly he doesn’t give a shit.

And frankly neither do I.