The Plague of Stupid Continues…

When I think of all the wasted effort I made in carefully selecting a seat in lab away from the international house of banana-heads that comprised my previous table in lecture, it makes me want to shake my fists in fury toward the sky and scream like Spock in Star Trek: Into Darkness: KHAN!!!

Just when I thought I would get a reprieve from the derpy derps in my chemistry class, they strike again… The dude I’m sitting next to in lab is a DOUCHEBAG and an idiot.

We had an in-class quiz to take on the computer during chemistry lab, and it needed to be completed during the first 30 minutes of lab. There was 1 computer per two people at the lab bench , it was a 20 question quiz and the quiz was only one of the activities we needed to complete in this pre-lab portion of the class.

I happen to sit right next to the computer, and my glassware drawer and stuff is right next to it, so I figured I’d be nice and let him go first so he can then complete the rest of the activities on his side of the table and leave me to mine–BIG FUCKING MISTAKE.

The asshole spends the entirety of the 30 min doing the online quiz sitting in front of the computer deliberating over the 20 questions. What a moron!!!

It was an open book quiz, based on answers we derived from a 20 minute detailed video that we had literally just finished watching right before the quiz. The quiz was comprised of questions straight out of the notes and the rest were decision making of safety related scenarios based on the data we had collected from the video–so those answers weren’t going to be in the notes.

Oh this dude was working my nerves. The professor kept throwing hints to those (and there were others obviously) who were taking an inordinate amount of time doing their quiz. There was no point in rushing him, he looked like he was struggling for every answer and the professor had already yelled at another group because it was not a collaborative effort, so he was on his own… just him and his rusty brain.

I was so pissed! I had to go use a PC on the other side of the room and it took me 3.5 minutes to complete the quiz!!! Regardless of how little time it took me, I was unable to do my other pre-lab activities because the bastard was just in my way, hogging up all the area by my lab station. 

Oh, but it didn’t end there. The plague of stupid continued…

Once the actual lab has commenced, the guy proceeds to spend the rest of the lab time asking me how to do the lab. I kept telling him to read his fucking lab sheet instructions  and stop interrupting me, or better yet–ask the professor!

I will help people who despite all attempts to understand just don’t get it, I can tell the difference between the gap as a result of effort versus the gap as the result of just douchebaggery and lack of preparation (as was the case with the dude to my right).

So NO, I was not interested in helping him. Luckily, the lab experiments are ALL individual effort. I would commit crimes in that class if it turned out that not only was I stuck sitting next to this waste of mental space, but that part of my grade would be dependent on his collective effort. OMG! I would lose my shit.

Ugh!! And our seats are permanent so I’m stuck next to this buffoon for the rest of the semester. He should have displayed a sign clearly stating that he was too stupid to live I would have chosen a different seat.

Unfortunately, I was trying to steer clear of the crowd of stupid from the lecture portion of the class, however, it seems that I am just destined to be plagued by the idiots in this class in particular. Seriously though, there should be some way to identify the folks that are a few cards short of a full deck upstairs, those whose bats are definitely not in their belfry, the ones who haven’t had a light on in forever.

Oh! It gets better! He spilled sulfuric acid and tried to wipe it up with paper towel despite having just sat through a 20 min safety video that went through the steps of dealing with spilled chemicals of various types AND taking his 30 min safety quiz.

Dang it all, how can one person be so damned stupid?? He wasn’t alone though. Apparently, he has a brother, probably of no actual relation but they seemed chummy so maybe they knew each other, but that wasn’t any help because the other guy was also just as stupid.

Despite it clearly stating in the syllabus that the first lab report would NOT be filled out in advance of the actual class session (i.e.–not to be filled out at home), this brainiac tried to do it in advance and kept asking me why his answers didn’t seem to match what the professor was saying they should have been.

I don’t even know what I said to him, I think by this point I was just trying to shake off this dead weight that was keeping me from using what time remained to complete my experiment, but it must have sufficed because he thanked me and wandered off to hog the computer next to his lab station.

I think I am being punished. I told a friend of mine on campus at the end of last semester that the student type I hated the most is the “Dumbass Student”–those students that hog up valuable class time asking question after question because they just can’t grasp the subject, doing in class/labs what they should be doing in a tutoring session.

Those are my most hated student types. They suck up time that the professor could be spending on the material that would benefit the entire class, to focus on their individual questions. Their close-cousin “The Irrelevant Question Student” — they want to ask a bunch of questions that they think are related, but don’t actually have a fucking thing to do with what the professor is talking about. Super time wasters. They drive me right up the wall.

I am going to start handing out tickets like the cops do for mental violations…