Is it progress that I can wish the ex salutations on his birthday? I don’t really mean it, and truly it’s an afterthought. He should be glad I am wishing him anything at all, since he’s the worst and if it wasn’t for the children we share, I wouldn’t have to think of him at all, right? I secretly hope that he spent his birthday in a drunken stupor and that he was hating himself the whole time, reminded of just how much of a douchebag he truly is.