How to run errands with children…

I ran errands today. Not shocking. I do that from time to time. What seemed to be noteworthy to a friend I ran into at the grocery store was that I did it with five children en tow. Only three were mine, two were on loan from a friend since the summer program her two children had been attending terminated a week before school began (crazy) and she needed someone to fill in the gap. That someone was me!

Today was not the first instance that my performance under pressure with my children present has been remarked upon in a positive light. What do I do different from most that seems to the untrained eye to create well behaved children? How do I navigate the concrete jungle with an entourage of pre-tweens, tweens and a teen?

I utilize my favorite word judiciously: NO.

It’s really as simple as that. I don’t negotiate, I make my demands known in clear and concise language. I do not cajole and I don’t plead. I explain only what is necessary, everyone from my teenager on down to my eight year old is on a need to know basis. Today, all they needed to know was that I had to go to the store, and I needed to run errands and they should plan to bring something with which to entertain themselves as the duration of our outing was undetermined! Failure to comply was at your own risk of boredom. (Hallelujah for the Nintendo DS!)

I will share what I have gathered after all this time:

Kids want limits.

They aren’t going to say so in so many words. I know no child that will say no to a bag of M & M’s. Sometimes you just have to be that voice of reason for them (welcome to parenthood…)

Kids are not clairvoyant.

(If they were, I wouldn’t be writing this, I would be sipping a Mai Tai on a beach in Tahiti at an all services catered resort.) How are they going to know whether or not they can have another (insert name of random item here) if they don’t ask?

Right now all marketing techniques are targeted at kids. Anyone under 18 is their target consumer. Not because they have jobs, but because they have command of pockets. The pockets of their parent… and not just one parent, but two. Not just this generation, but older generations too if grandparents are included.Commerce is driven by getting kids to get their parents to spend $$$. Doesn’t knowing this make you want to stick it to “the man”?

Maintain “Need to Know” when giving out information.

My eight year old has no concept of time. He doesn’t care that in order to “go home” I also have to get gas in order to get on the road to go home, stop at the ATM to pay for afore mentioned gasoline and pick up the groceries that were the entire reason for the outing in the first place. All he cares about is that he’s had enough, he’s bored and he didn’t get the shiny thing he saw in line at the register, so as far he’s concerned this whole trip is a wash and it’s time to call it quits. So no details for him. He’ll know he’s home cause he’ll see familiar streets out the window as we drive into the neighborhood. Period.

Never give up, never surrender. Consistency is key.

You think your child(ren) will not notice that you are all over the map in your decision making patterns? Guess again.

Just cause the outside world (TV, media, internet, radio…etc) tells us that our children are more advanced than we were when we were kids doesn’t make it so. Having gadgets and technology has not changed the basic makeup of humans. Our basic needs for love, comfort and recognition have not been replaced with the language of texting and mp3’s.

Let your child know that their involvement in the procurement process (aka shopping) is as important as yours.

Plus, don’t you remember being used as free labor when you were younger? Pay it down…think of it as a teachable moment and an applicable life skill when they are putting away the groceries or emptying the trunk of your car. It is all gonna pay off when they are older. If they know that you think their effort is important, they will believe in the power of doing a good job.