5 Work People Types That Make My Blood Boil

In all the years I have held a job, especially in the corporate world, I have observed that there are several people types that make my blood boil. Recently I had cause to list these out to someone, so I am immortalizing them here for posterity. If you identify with one of these types, you can literally go jump off a bridge.

Constant Ball Droppers

You know who you are. You volunteer for shit and then never see it through to the end. You want all the accolades and credit, but want to do none of the work. These shitbags at work make my blood boil because they will be the first in line to complain that they are passed over for promotions, but the last to realize why others who are promoted deserve it. They are also the first to hate on me thinking I get everything handed to me. It’s because I work hard to make me the obvious choice. You, on the other hand, couldn’t catch a cold if it landed on you.

Information Hoarders

People who complain that they never get any time off, or are overworked, because of their specialized knowledge… which they refuse to share with anyone else. The thing that makes them feel special also makes them miserable. They are responsible for their unhappiness, because they hoard information and don’t know how to train others, or share the knowledge. Worse, because they don’t share their hoard of information, they get stuck in the job that they have come to hate. It’s your own fault hoarder!

The Friend Makers

People who want to be everyone’s friend, and no one’s enemy. It makes them weak leaders/managers because they are overly concerned with what other people will think of them to the point that they cannot take a stand for anything that means they might have to hold someone else accountable. They don’t want to be perceived as the bad guy. So instead they are the weak ass leaders. Hope you like your friendships, because they are what you have in place of a back bone.

Always Missing in Action

Somehow these douchebags are never where they need to be when they need to be there. Like how do they even keep their job when they are never at work? These people have a reputation for being unreliable and conspiciously absent for a variety of reasons. Something is always happening in their life, some crisis, some family matter, some personal issue, something other than work, that is keeping them from making the drive into work to be there for their team and to maintain their responsibilities.

Literally Too Proud to Beg

These are the ones that don’t know shit all about their job, but are too proud to ask for help. For whatever reason, they have decided to cut off their nose to spite their face and will ask everyone else in the world for the answer rather than go to the one person (usually me) who they spurned when the help was initially offered. Only to realize too late that they burned a very important bridge and now have decided that their only recourse is to pretend they know what they are doing, and are willing to tank the business to save face. Fuck you all straight to hell. You suck major ass.