With Friends Like These

One of my close friends at work is having a hard time. Turns out he is being bullied by a mutual friend named Jem. There’s a lot wrong with Jem, professionally and personally, but this is a new low. It is another bad episode of high school, all over again.

Tony started at this job around the same time as Jem. He was hired as a permanent and she came on board as a seasonal coworker. She is more driven and hungry to get ahead. Her hunger for power and control contributed to her quick hire as a team leader.

Unfortunately, she creates and perpetuates drama with her unprofessionalism and inability to compartmentalize her personal life and the many issues she has because she is in a toxic relationship with her douchebag of a girlfriend.

Feminine Douchebaggery

Let’s touch on the girlfriend real quick because I really don’t like her. The first time I met her I was already predisposed to dislike her. I hadn’t met her yet when Jem was in the throes of a meltdown because said girlfriend had moved out and threatened to go back to Mexico. There’s a whole other post dedicated to this she-bitch, but suffice it to say that she’s a fucking piece of manipulative work. I tried to offer Jem support when she in a panic trying to figure out how to make it through.

It was a surprise when not even two weeks later they were back together and it was as if nothing ever happened. I vowed not to get involved in any more of Jem’s relationship drama as it was clear she had no intention of saving herself.

Descent Into Madness

Over the last several months Jem has devolved into a mess of a human being. Barely doing her job. Lashing out irrationally at coworkers. Giving friends the cold shoulder. Basically being a psycho bitch at work. I refuse to buy into the hysteria of showing any interest in her personal life. People like her want others to chase them, to ask them what is wrong, to beg for crumbs of their attention.

How do I know? Because my mother does the same shit. I’ve basically got a PhD in passive aggressive behavior.

Workplace Bully

At work she behaves like it is acceptable behavior to bring her issues to work and take them out of my friend pokemon. She has all these rules that only she can hold others accountable for, but the same rules don’t apply to her.

She likes to drop little information bombs, tidbits of information meant to entice someone into asking for clarification. What did she mean? Is she really okay? It’s a trap. She tries it on everyone, and most fall for it.

Sadly Tony internalizes a lot of that manipulation believing that he is somehow at fault. It’s terrible because she bullies him into doing her work, into staying late and working extra hours, and then lays the blame when her direct reports are failing to do their job because she doesn’t bother to do her job of training them.

Speaking of training…

Good grief she is bad at training. She has the zeal for it but her methods are filled with giving incomplete information, answering questions with another question, and ridiculing the trainee for not catching on quick enough. She is THE WORST.

All I can do is provide support and consistency for Tony. He doesn’t report to me, but I consider him a friend and a coworker. It saddens me that he, and many others are subjected to the effects of her immature behavior. It is creating a toxic workplace for my friends and coworkers. Aint nobody got time for that.

Some advice I have for him as he navigates through this difficult time are: Remain professional at all times. Do not allow her blurring the lines to put him in an awkward position. He doesn’t want to be in a situation where she can claim he was being insubordinate. For my part, I can gather the evidence of her malfeasance, because friend or not, you’re not fucking up my workplace.

Stay strong my friend. One day all villains get their comeuppance.