Hard Pass | 2 movie types that trigger no-no feelings
There are some movies that one can never watch again. There are certain movies that have some scenes or situations that are hard triggers for bad times. It doesn’t even have to be something that other people would consider bad.
I know there are some movies that others would mock me and my reasons for avoiding a repeat. One such movie is How to Train Your Dragon 2. Sounds benign right? Nope. It’s a hard hitter that I will never watch again.
Why, you might wonder? Well, the reason why is because it tore my heart out. There are somethings that are big NOPES for me in movies. The number one thing is cruelty to or sad animals. Who the fuck is going to sit through a movie that only makes you want to cry? Makes you sad because the dog or cat has been abandoned by their owners? Been wronged in some way, and their little animal heart doesn’t know what it did wrong? Fuck me. I can’t do it.
The summer before sixth grade we had to read some books off a reading list. It was a Catholic school, so we had some great choices. Of the ones that weren’t dripping in religion, we were left with The Contender, and The Incredible Journey.
Who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to write a book about animals who had to find their way home through great adversity, over miles, just to be reunited with their family??? Sheila Burnford. That’s fucking who. I hate her so much.
That book was torture to read from cover to cover. Not because it was not well written. Not because it wasn’t wrought with well crafted phrases… no. Because it was fucking animal emotional pain. And I just can’t do it. It’s one of my big NOPES.
The exception to that is John Wick because he goes monkey shit on the ones who killed his dog and wipes them off the face of the earth with violence. That really is the only appropriate response.
Today I went to see again. The whys are not important. What trailers were played beforehand is the point of why I bring it up. For my theater, they played a trailer for How to Train Your Dragon 3, and another fucking animal tearjerker movie called (hold on gotta google this piece of shit) “”. Spoiler Alert: the dog finds his way home.
Why do they do this??? I feel that animal movies based on real events are super manipulative. Who wants to sit through a vivid recreation of an animal’s struggle? I am not going to watch that movie, nor have I watched any of the others like it (Hachiko, A Dog’s Purpose, Marley & Me, etc…). Fuck that shit. So fuck that dog movie and whoever wrote it.
And now we get to the good stuff. The trailer for How to Train Your Dragon 3 reminded me of why I will never again see How to Train Your Dragon 2. HTTYD2 is a fine movie. By the end I was like, this is great. But I will never see it again. Because I can’t watch the face of disappointment on Toothless’s face after he comes out of the Night Fury stupor to realize that Hiccup is mad at him and that he did something bad. NO!!
Excuse me. I have to go collect myself.
I am well aware this is an animated movie and Toothless is not a real dragon, and the whole situation never happened. That doesn’t matter. You know this happens in real life. With real animals and real people. I don’t care if I am extrapolating this to the Nth degree. It’s how I feel. And I feel very strongly that I don’t like seeing animals sad, hurt, or in physical pain. So I will never watch that movie again.
Unfortunately, I before I watch a sequel, I like to watch the first movie(s) again in a sort of marathon event to familiarize myself with the storyline. Especially if I don’t recall how the movie before ended, which happens to be the case with HTTYD2. If I wanted to watch HTTYD3, I would have to watch HTTYD2 first, but I won’t because I can’t bear to see Toothless in pain. So, I guess I will never see How to Train Your Dragon 3 unless I watch it under duress.
