Irrational Fears…

Today I experienced what could only be described as irrational fear.Why? Because I had a dental appointment for a root canal. I have needed a root canal for over three years, but thanks to the stank dentist I was visiting in Virginia and the ludicrous co-pay demanded of me (thanks to our crappy military dental coverage) I was not able to afford one until today.

Thanks to husband’s new job, we had new dental coverage which had a reasonable co-pay. The difference in what I would have had to pay three years ago, and what I actually paid today was staggering. Believe it when you hear people say that the government gives it’s military service personnel the SHAFT. Don’t believe the hype, we never had it as good as they like to say we do (at least not at the enlisted level).

Unless of course you have some kind of chronic illness, which then by all means it’s great, because that’s all Tricare seems to be good for.

So, back to the irrationality of it all…

First off, I have only heard stories, whispers in dark corners about the horrors of root canals! Secondly, I have never been this afraid of ANYTHING in my life! I have been in a war zone and in a terrible car accident, yet nothing had me visibly shaking like I was this morning as I sat in the waiting room at the dentist’s office. I am almost ashamed of myself for being such a chicken. But, on the upside, having this irrational fear provided a few golden opportunities which I took advantage of.

Golden Opportunity #1:

I woke up at 6:30am. Though this might not seem remarkable, or significant in any way to most, it is HIGHLY significant for me, since I hate waking up early and avoid it at all costs if at all possible. Because I was awake at what I consider to be the butt-crack of dawn, I had time to get myself worked up about the unpainted state of the walls of the basement room and the bathrooms in our current rental house.

My anxiety over the root canal bled over to thoughts of work left unfinished. This led me to begin babbling about my anxieties to my husband, and he, in his bleary eyed early morning state, was easily coerced into committing his next free weekend to helping me get that task done. Score!

Golden Opportunity #2:

I had to drive my son to school, and on the way he asked me about my procedure and what would happen, he was concerned about me. This frank talk just between him and me, gave me a chance to show him my humanity.

To remove the Super Mom cape and let him know that despite my knowledge in the process I was about to undergo, I was human enough to be scared and not too proud to admit it. More importantly, despite that I was scared as all get out, I was still going to go through with it because it was for my own good.

This was an important point since he did ask me, if I was so scared, why I was still going to go through with it? Sometimes even what is good for us might be dangerous to our sensibilities. There aren’t many opportunities to demonstrate this conundrum, much less point it out as an illustration, I am glad I was able to capitalize on this one.

Golden Opportunity #3:

Because I was so visibly shaken and therefore not too proud to tell my dentist that I was VERY nervous (thanks to the shoddy dental treatments I had received in years past), she took extra care to assure me and walk me through every step of the process. I believe she would have done so anyway, I have confidence in her level of competence as a caring dental  professional, but I like to flatter myself to think that she went out of her way for me this one time.

So that was my day. So far so good. Got prescriptions for the pain but I don’t think I will need them. It only feels like I got punched in the face, though I have never actually been “punched” in the face, I have taken a softball to the grill and I think that is a close facsimile thereof.