New Year, Same Old Bullshit – Tales of a Bad Manager

My boss is a sack of shit, as a manager of people he fails epically to develop anything other than antipathy. For all the knowledge he has about our company business, he lacks it exponentially in people skills and communication. All last year I spent trying to figure out what he wants, but I am making a new year’s resolution to stop giving a shit about what he wants and focus on myself.

I am at the point where I wish he would stay on vacation. I do better at work, I am more productive, and I am clear-headed and focused when my boss is not there. But my productivity grinds to a halt as soon as he arrives to work. Despite everything, he’s always got some criticism he feels crucial to give me. I could do 1000 things right, and all he sees are the dirty dishes I didn’t get around to doing. It’s like he’s my mother. And that is how he talks to our team.

Let me be very clear. I don’t hate my job, I LOVE my job. I love the company that I work with. But he is a terrible manager. He demotivates, he makes people feel like shit like they can’t do anything right. I and my peers are literally bonding together through our shared workplace trauma. It is critical that I complete my objectives as quickly as possible because I am ready to take on another role. He is the worst.

I have jokingly said to my coworkers that dealing with my boss is like having to be back with the ex-husband and unlike that relationship where I was able to walk away, I can’t divorce this one. This is definitely one of those things where I mean 100% of what I have said, joke or no joke. It is impossible to feel like I am on eggshells again. It’s triggering.

Toxic Masculinity in the Workplace

I almost don’t even want to get into it, but to summarize his toxic behavior, he was like come with me, and then proceeds to walk super fast (he’s much taller than me and his inconsiderate stride was a basic run for me). I knew he was upset, but he was taking everything that was happening personally. He wasn’t able to keep his objectivity to the business aspect of it. I was so over it.

Then he asked a bunch of rhetorical questions. What the fuck. I am not a child and I’m done with the goddamned games! It’s so condescending, and I just wanted the whole thing to be over. It was a real waste of my time. Just tell me that you’re not happy with my performance and quit the song and dance.

His intimidation games were not working on me. His microaggressions are exhausting. I figured out that he is discriminatory towards Hispanics and Latinos. He treats anyone who can’t hide their Latinx heritage with disdain and suspicion. That became exceedingly clear thanks to his comments about the mix of music played over the radio at our location during Hispanic Heritage Month. I also saw how he treated coworkers with Hispanic names or accents. I don’t know if it is fortunate or unfortunate that because of my surname and non-specific appearance, I fly under the Latino radar. Don’t think I didn’t catch the look on his face when he heard me speak in Spanish for the first time.

Biases – unconscious or conscious?

He definitely has a bias against women in general. Conscious or unconscious, I am not the only woman leader that he butts heads with. Somehow, our suggestions are always somehow flawed, and he micromanages them to failure and death. His “one team” philosophy only works when everyone is thinking and behaving just like him.

Therefore, only one of my peers is ever on his good side. This particular male individual is a jerk who likes to mansplain everything. It is no surprise that he is also white. They are practically BFFs and he favors this person’s company, and opinion. This is a damned shame because this person is hated by everyone at work since he’s burned every bridge of collaboration with every other department. I have had to mediate several issues that he has caused which almost disrupted our daily operation. But that behavior is okay with my boss, therefore assholes need apply. Period.

Tired of the bias

I can’t wait to leave when I get my next role. It’s time for me to go. Fuck this noise. I am on a development journey and circling the drain with this fuck stick of a boss is draining my energy and focus.

This is the year of my mental health journey, and the survey says: stop trying to win him over. Focus on me.

Instagram for once served a purpose other than contributing to my depression, by putting in my path short videos and motivational words from several psychologists, therapists, and other mental health professionals that really let me feel my worth. So for once, a situation that could have led to a depression spiral instead has led to this post.

I don’t know how many times I have heard that I am not the problem, but something in me wants to win his approval. That is textbook something behavior. Looks like it’s time to bring in the professionals for guidance. Once I have it figured out, I’ll let you know.