Rush Rush Rush – Case of the Reluctant Hostess

Nothing spurs a total house cleaning spree like the prospect of visitors. Suddenly, family members who usually treat housework like a suggestion find themselves on their knees scrubbing urine from the back of the toilet—mostly because the males in this household still can’t seem to aim into a nineteen-inch open yaw. But even in this, I will become the enemy according to mr horrible. May I present the evidence…

Exhibit A: Misplaced Outrage

The same member will also express outrage, misplaced, of course, when I mention that I would like to accept my neighbor’s offer to take me to Starbucks for a cup of coffee to get me out of the house. Her treat because she missed my birthday the weekend before. I see nothing wrong with running out of the house for 30 to 40 minutes. Frankly, I could use the caffeine boost to deal with this situation. But then there are the visitors. They are coming. Not for another 3 hours. What’s 30 minutes?

Exhibit B: Procrastination

Wait–we’re doing that last-minute cleaning spree because we knew they were coming, or at least planning to come all week. We knew they were going to be here, definitely the last 2 days. And the day before, we were sitting around, only contemplating cleaning because we knew they were going to be here in 24 hours. So now that the cleaning task has been procrastinated for as long as possible, I am the enemy because I want to indulge in overpriced flavored coffee served by a green smocked barista for 30 minutes.

Exhibit C: Not my circus, not my monkeys

These, of course, are not visitors whom I solely invited. It is the friend of my husband and his wife who are bringing their little girl over for a BBQ, greet and meet at our house. Granted, we don’t have a ton of visitors at the house. Our past history has swung from the extreme good to bad in the success of visitors and dinner parties. Sometimes we have return visits. Sometimes we never extend the invitation again–or I should say, I don’t create the option of another invitation again.

Exhibit D: The finger pointing

So there we were, during the 30 minutes I had planned for my Starbucks run, arguing in our dining room about who is more committed to having people over, and whose fault it is that we are yelling at each other. The little ones were mercifully in the backyard, blissfully unaware of the rampage taking place inside the house. The older one, though, was stubbornly (with the curiosity of an accidental rubbernecker) staying in place in the hallway, looking for an opportunity to throw in his two cents without our consent.

The Post-Action Report

What was the outcome? We retreated to our corners, we regrouped, we apologized, I drank coffee, and we entertained. It turned out to be a very enjoyable visit. But by the end of the evening, I was exhausted. We are hoping to have them over again soon.

Why do I do this to myself 🤔?