My Narcissist Mother Vs Army Of Me

Normal people mark holidays, birthdays, and celebrations on their calendars to remember the good times. I note the times my mother acts like a complete prick and I have to put her in time out. The only bright side is that the older I get, the further apart these skirmishes appear on the horizon. She has reached my last nerve.

Narcissist Mother Strikes Again

What did she do this time?

She happened to call me as I was about to board a plane to Chicago for a business trip and I made the mistake of telling her that I couldn’t talk because I was about to board a plane. She then proceeded to interrogate me, what was I doing in Chicago? Who was I with? No really, who was I with, and why didn’t I tell her I was going out of town? How could I leave Dallas and not tell her? What about my sons? How long was I going to be there?

She said a bunch of other bullshit that was really insulting, and I knew she would later deny ever having said it. Or come up with some reason why it was my fault she was “forced” to say what she did.

Hold on just a second there bitch. I do not have time for this shit. I told her you know what? You have a lot of nerve talking to me like this. No, I will not call you when I am back from Chicago. You don’t deserve my time or attention.

It was bullshit. She was like why didn’t I tell her I had a business trip coming up? But I did. There is no good reason for her to lie and claim that I never told her. It was the only thing I had to talk about when I visited her a month prior.

Even better, what difference does it make if I told her about it or not? I am a grown woman, with my own life, and a job. I don’t need to check in with her about my plans. She said yes I did have to tell her what I was doing. What the actual fuck? That I was a bad daughter because I didn’t tell her anything.

The Bad Daughter Accusation

And there it was. Every time something happens that she doesn’t approve of, or that she can’t make about her, I am a bad daughter. How so? Having a business trip doesn’t affect her. I don’t need her to watch my sons, they are grown and can take care of themselves. They are responsible and can watch the house and themselves, and the cats. So nothing is needed from her. So how does my being out of town make me a bad daughter?

The truth is that she is jealous of the life I am living and she wishes it was either her own or at least my brother’s. And sometimes I think she would prefer that I wasn’t out here achieving my dreams because she would rather be orchestrating my moves so she could take credit for what I am doing.

The Manipulation Attempts Begin

The week I was back in town, I got a ton of texts, both from her and my brother. All trying to be super friendly – trying to bribe me with gifts, and promises of things if I just call her back. I don’t need your bullshit. My brother tried to be friendly calling to “check on me”. I didn’t answer the phone or return his messages.

That was a month ago and I haven’t bothered to communicate with her, or my brother, who by default of living with her and taking her side in every argument ever, follows suit in her attempts to manipulate me into communicating.

My Mother Owes me for Therapy

I have an unfortunate and complicated relationship with the two of them that I have yet to unpack with a professional therapist. And I can’t explain just why I don’t cut them off altogether. But until I have that sorted, time out is the best option I have available to me.

I shouldn’t have to defend myself against my family. I really shouldn’t but I will if I have to. Therapy is expensive.