Hard Pass – If the Animal Gets Hurt, I’m Out (John Wick is the Exception)
How to Train Your Dragon 2 broke me. A Dog's Way Home is on the banned list. John Wick is the only acceptable response to animal harm in film.
You Talk Too Much
I screamed for my brother to get off the phone when I cut myself on accident. He did not. I fainted from blood loss. He was still on the phone when I came to.
10 Reasons I Hate Watching Movies With My Mother
Ten cardinal rules of movie watching. La Llorona and my brother break all of them. Every. Single. Time. Consider this a formal documentation of the damage.
I Am Not the Favorite Child
My mother washes the mug I was using and hands it straight to my brother mid-sip, and no, I am not overreacting about a cup.
Hitting the Unlike Button
My brother gets his car towed, assumes it's a scam, and screams at a tow yard employee until I have to physically drag him away.
