Conveniently Out of Range

What would it take to make my mother leave me alone? It seems that since I joined the neighborhood council here in Guatemala, she has not been calling me every day as she usually did. And maybe that is part of the reason why.

I purposely didn’t tell her when I got elected. The announcement was made almost a week later. She took over three days to say something to me about it, and then it was a throwaway line of text in between another message. I thought that was the end of it, but then a few days later she called me again, this time asking me if it was taking a lot of my time, if I was super busy. Which I am not. And even if I was, what business is it of hers? 

She then fell back on one of her old gambits, by bugging me about something she wanted me to buy for her, which was not something I wanted to go buy. It was just more shit to clutter up this house already cluttered with random shit she has collected in her various visits, and the random detritus left behind by my aunt (or aunts – not really sure who this stuff belonged to). So when she was like, but I need it, the fact is, she does not need it. I’ve seen my brother’s apartment. It is filled to the brim with her shit. Piled up boxes of who knows what as they prepare for I can’t even imagine. 

She talks like they are in plans to move into their own place. Sadly, I think the only way she’s leaving that apartment is on a stretcher. She, nor my brother, seem motivated to move out of that apartment. So I refused, and she got mad. Next thing I know the line goes quiet, I thought she had disconnected but the line was still green, so then I was like maybe she muted me accidentally, so I told her that I was hanging up. And I did. 

She didn’t call me back. I wasn’t asking her what happened. I didn’t really care. And I have other things going on that are a lot more interesting that finding out what new hell my mother wants to unleash on me for having the audacity to have an opposing opinion. Two more days passed, then she called me. I happened to be handling some council business at the council president’s house, but she had stepped away to do something, so I answered the phone. And she rambled on about her dream and some other stuff. Her fears about people wanting to break into the apartment.

No one wants to break into her apartment. She has convinced herself that there are strangers outside her windows or on the landing outside her door. And that they are waiting for her to open the door so they can invade. Personally, I think she spends too much time trapped inside. 

She is literally going bat shit crazy. But eventually she asked me something like was I at home, and I was like no. I told her where I was and she was like, oh so they heard my whole conversation. Of course not, because I’m not the one who has full conversations on speakerphone in front of strangers. I was wearing my Bluetooth so no one heard her nonsense except me. 

I am sure, somewhere in her head she convinced herself that I was lying and maybe that is why she hasn’t called. Whatever the reason, I’ll take it. If this were happening at a different point in my past life, I might be sad about her lack of support, and the brief derision she revealed when she expressed disbelief in me wanting to be involved. Expressing surprise that I went through with this plan that I had only mentioned to her once in passing when we first arrived in Guatemala. The old me might have wanted her approval. The current me knows better. 

I know she has no idea, nor cares, that this kind of civic involvement is very much in pattern with how I’ve lived my life. She has no idea that I am and have always been this way. She doesn’t understand why I even bother to volunteer for anything, and this is certainly not the first time. Therefore, her disbelief is on par for her lack of knowledge of me as a person. 

Fortunately, I am at this stage in my life where I know myself and don’t look for her approval. Especially when it is not forthcoming.