Boxes vs Papers – Clash of the Titans

I have painted myself into a dangerous corner. I don’t want to label it procrastination because I would think that what I had been doing instead of doing my papers would have been fun (like watching TV or reading a book), but it too has been work and just as important.

See, what happened was, I got my boxes and furniture delivered to me about a week and a half ago. For the first four days after their delivery I did no unpacking, so it is no surprise that the week that followed would be filled with a true battle for supremacy over my attention and focus. Unpack the boxes or study and concentrate on the papers that are due for my various classes? In retrospect I can see where I went wrong…

Despite the delivery of my stuff over a week ago, it wasn’t until mr horrible left that I felt like doing anything again. This explains a lot about my past motivation and productivity levels when he was around vs when he wasn’t (on deployment and later out of the military, at work), he was and still is, apparently, an energy suck.

Even though I can see my handicap, I still feel bad about not having overcome that, I should have fought harder to accomplish my own goals. It’s like no matter how far I think I may have come in five months, all it takes is one visit and I am thrown back into the past and thrown into a shame spiral…

Over the past week I have, with my predetermined goal of ten boxes a day, unpacked over half of the boxes. Of the things extruded, only half of those have found a home, temporary or otherwise, and the other half are floating about in uncertain piles about the rooms in my apartment. When I wasn’t unpacking, I was researching for the various assignments I had, or doing them. But there were many.

I seem to have entered some sort of time crunch paradox where every class had convergent due dates all landing on the same fateful weekend and I was too distracted by the boxes, the children needing my attention and the general activity of going to class and keeping my schedule, to notice that pattern until it was too late.

So here I am, and I feel I am losing the battle. I have things crying to be dealt with scattered around the room where I do my studying and I am finding it hard to concentrate on the school work. I know I do better with concrete problems. The boxes and stuff concern is easy to solve, I know what I need to do and I have guaranteed success if I execute my plan.

Only problem is I also know that execution of that plan will leave me with no time AT ALL to deal with the deadlines that are more important because they are finite. There is no deadline for the organization of my apartment except for that which I impose on myself.

I must win this conflict and finish my school work on time, I must capitalize on the thunderstorms today. It might be dark and seem like perfect weather for taking a nap, I am going to put on a pot of hot water, drink some really strong tea and get to work. This will not defeat me. I’ve got a lot of mofo’s to prove wrong and failure is not an option!