Demotivate Twins, Activate

A friend was telling me how he has changed his work out routine in the post pandemic era. This spawned a discussion on everyone’s source for motivation when it almost feels as if there is no point. My reply was: what motivation?

This discussion went on for some time. For some that shared they were motivated by money. For others it was shopping/retail therapy. Having that extra cash so they can shop their feelings away. I guess I don’t have any feelings because I derive no extra joy from shopping than I do from anything else. Shopping, such as with groceries, has become another chore that I have to do.

This post-pandemic era has made mortality very real for many who thought they would live forever. It has also become quite surreal, especially when there are people dying who have been careful, but you have people staying alive who should have caught COVID, or died of some other thing by now. Life is as perplexing as it is unfair.

Does this feeling of blah mean I have high-functioning depression? Probably.

Not all problems can be medicated away. I also didn’t like how I felt the one time I was medicated. I felt outside of my body, looking at a person having homicidal thoughts and weighing the pros and cons of taking a life because someone cut me off on the highway. Real trippy shit.