Fall Out Girl – Up and At Them

I had a fallout with a friend. It was bound to happen, we were both stressed and stretched thin at work. I don’t regret what I said, just that it was said at all.

I am not sure why I felt compelled to speak up when I did.

It’s hard being a woman in the workplace. It’s harder being a woman in charge in the workplace. Especially if you’re in charge of a team made up of assholes.

Triggered

So perhaps I was triggered when my friend began his rant about how his job was being directly affected by one manager in particular, my peer, and that she was at fault because he heard from some other bitches that she was talking shit and saying sideways shit about the issue he had been dealt with being his job. Which though not false, doesn’t sound like something she would say unless it was taken out of context.

I, perhaps, took umbrage to him jumping on the hate this manager bandwagon when I had just sat through a meeting earlier that afternoon where one of my dept heads was bitching about the same manager while presenting no solution to her dilemma but instigating the shit being said by another of my peers on my team. So yeah. I was a little on edge and perhaps took it too personally, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ shit happens.

Perhaps I was irritated by his little speech because he’s never been in her shoes dealing with that level of bullshit, but I have walked a mile in her shoes. And they fucking hurt.

In this case, I immediately jumped on him and I questioned why he felt entitled to being handled with kid gloves in this time of hardship. Why did he need to be treated special? We are all there to do our jobs, and in these challenging times, it makes more sense to rally together instead of being reluctant to help without being handed a fucking medal for doing so. And really that was what fucking had me unleashing on him.

The Actual Nerve

Because he has a lot of nerve. We had just spent hours unpacking where his frustration at work was rooted. And concluded it was the lax behavior of his teammates, the exact people who were giving him this hearsay account of the alleged comment that he was so hung up about.

I for one, never understand how someone can be so pissed off at another person about their terrible actions and behavior, and then in the next breath trust the words coming out of their mouth to not be tainted with sinister and self-serving motivations! It’s like he can’t possibly consider that someone who acts like a villain is still a villain when they use nice words with him. Is he that needing their approval that he is willing to overlook their bad behavior?

I Meant What I Said

Again, I only regret the venue, not my words. Because I meant every word I said and I will not apologize because I meant what I said so Why would I lie and take anything back?

The collective audience was not a safe space group of folks. The majority of the people around us were part of the problem. Lazy ass fucking selfish assholes who didn’t think 2 steps beyond their own noses. Convinced the world was at fault while creating problems that they seemed confused about when faced with the consequences. These are the fuckers this manager has on her team, and it is their fucking fault that their issues are causing him more work.

But no… instead of putting the blame where it belongs, he blames her. It’s easy to make her a target. Why, you might wonder? Because she hadn’t rolled through his workspace to personally thank him.

He shouted some other bullshit like I don’t know what he’s going through and I haven’t done his job. Get the fuck out of here. I literally trained him for his job. He is literally filling the role I vacated when I got promoted.

The bad news: You’re diagnosed as terminally male

But once again, like other combative men in my life, he acts like he’s the only man in the world ever to go through his current struggle. How lovely it must be to have such a short-term memory and centered view of the world that prevents them from recollecting anyone else’s experiences! What a life?!