Weird Wednesday – Awkward Public Interactions of the Cis-Het Male Variety
Why are cis-het men of the Christian persuasion so fucking gross? I was accosted at work while trying to complete a transaction by a man who was not only grossly macking on his 35-year-old daughter, but also proceeded to attack me with his misogynistic religious ideology. Namely how he believes wholeheartedly that woman’s only purpose is to bring forth children into the world. And how he is so proud of himself for subjugating his woman for 38 years to bear his thirteen children. So goddamned nasty.
I kinda had an inkling this conversation was about to go south when he began to make comments about his daughter’s appearance. Such as, didn’t I think she had the most beautiful smile I had ever seen? Like in the middle of me asking if they had a customer profile on record. So I must have looked shell-shocked (as much as one can while wearing a mask), because the daughter was like don’t mind him, haha, ignore anything that comes out of his mouth.
Erm, dude that’s your father. I don’t give two shits what he’s saying, I am not the one that drove here with him. (And, yes, I’m an equal opportunity dude-er. I dude everyone regardless of gender!) Like all great shoppers they show up close to closing time, so he sends her to finish her shopping, and he stays behind to finish our transaction. At which point he is leaning real close to me, awkward, and asks me if I know Jesus. I can’t pull up his paperwork fast enough. I am wondering what else he is going to come at me with.
This is when he’s excited to ask me, you wouldn’t look at her and think she has four kids? Um, I wouldn’t look and think anything at all. WTF? He is adamant that I know that she is only 35. That’s great, man. And gross. Hella gross. Why are you even subjectively looking at her like that? Eww.
The Creep factor is at about 50 at this point.
Next, he pulls up his photo album on his phone, and the first photo he shows me looks like he has a woman (who is the spitting image of the daughter who has gone elsewhere at this point) in a headlock. It’s one of those camera booth cheek-to-cheek images. But she looks terrified in this photo like she is two shakes shy of a Silver Alert. In my head, I am comparing her image with all of the cold case files episodes I’ve binged recently. I’m like, oh is that your wife?
He doesn’t reply. The creep factor just rose about 20 points.
He pulls up another photo. This one has four mid-30 to mid-20 year old women in formal dress. Someone’s wedding, although no one appears to be wearing a white dress so who knows. And I’m like oh you have four daughters? He was like, not just four. OMG
The creep factor rises another 20 points.
His next photo is like a copy of the first, but with additional young women and men. That is the next set, and then there are seven more boys. I want to throw up in my mouth. He’s going on and on about how his wife just loves getting pregnant and how she will continue to have children as long as she can continue to get pregnant. Good god. I have no words. No good ones.
Creep factor is off the charts now. Rose to notches unknown.
The best I can do is remain silent, replying only with noncommital grunts. Fear is a factor. I didn’t think people still had kids like that outside of poor rural communities where there is nothing to do except have sex and get knocked up. Or cults. And Mormons.
But no. Here is a dude living in Dallas having entirely too many fucking kids. Terrorizing the women in his life, encouraging one to stay barefoot and pregnant while objectifying his female progeny. (vomit) And sharing his backward gross-ass dogma to perfect strangers trying to get through their day.
Namely me. Or just me.
