Music Roulette 3 ~ The B-Side Quest

I set the shuffle loose again, and this round of Music Roulette resurfaced some deep, deep memories. An even more uncurated playlist than the first round or the second. I read somewhere that music and smells are tied to memories in the brain. That hearing one or smelling something specific will trigger the recall. They say the same thing about trauma, in particular about PTSD. That you’re not recalling the trauma, but instead your body is reliving it. Music can elicit strong emotional responses, too. Let’s see which way this one goes.

1. Say It Ain’t So :: Weezer

I am laughing on the inside that this song popped up first. I remember when I used to go out to sing Karaoke – when it was a very popular thing – I figured out that the best way for me to have fun regardless of the song selection, was to have a few songs in my repertoire that are in my range, and that I know by heart. This is one of them. My favorite Weezer song, and it slays with the right crowd.

2. Particle Man :: They Might Be Giants

I have a pandemic story about They Might Be Giants. In 2019, I bought tickets to see them at the Dallas House of Blues in June of 2020. I was so excited because I was going to be taking my sons, who were then old enough to attend that venue. Our favorite band, seeing them live, and I purchased the tickets with money from my new job. I was so proud of myself. Then 2020 rolled around. And COVID hit. And I worried about the concert because everything was closed, and social distancing, etc. Sure enough, the concert was postponed. I didn’t get a refund; I opted to keep the tickets for whenever the concert was rescheduled. It took almost 3 years before the concert happened, in May of 2023. I laugh because when I got the tickets, my sons had only been old enough for the venue. Thanks to COVID, by the time the concert happened, they were old enough to drink beers with me during the event. Life is funny that way sometimes. 🤣🤣🤣

3. Dumb :: Nirvana

This song reminds me of my freshman year of college and my freshman year roommate, who was OBSESSED with this sophomore guy who lived in the dorm across from ours. He would have these parties. I’d go with her because she was too embarrassed to go by herself. So I had to suffer watching her make a fool of herself over him. Because I knew something for a fact that she didn’t want to believe – that he was already with another girl. SMH. I listened to a lot of Nirvana back then, among other things. I have (as evidenced) robust music tastes. She refused to listen to anything else besides Depeche Mode. Hey, nothing wrong with that. I love DM too. She tended to fixate on things. This song was so appropriate for the time.

4. Trouble :: Imagine Dragons

This was one of those albums I found when the divorce was still very fresh. This would have been year two post-divorce. So much about those years, of what I can recall without deep meditative sessions, had Imagine Dragons in the background. Wonder why.

5. Scary Love :: The Neighbourhood

This is another post-divorce album – except Softcore is the song I like the most off it. However, when this album came out, I was in a deep depression. So I listened to it after I started my new job. Much of my adult life is filled with strife, or pain, or struggle. I think it may have made me a better person. But I wish I could have arrived at the same place, or a place adjacent, with an easier path. Que sera sera.

6. Electric City :: Black Eyed Peas

Does anyone remember the dance party game called The Black Eyed Peas Experience for the Wii? I may be the only one. But this brings me back good memories of challenging my sons to a dance-off in the game room of the New Jersey house. We played every Dance Dance Revolution game we owned, and then we finished off the challenge with this game recently purchased. I only remember that I won this particular round because I knew every song so well that I could stay on beat even when I had never played the game before. My sons said it wasn’t fair 😅 and what can I say? I still have these songs on my playlists.

7. The Girl You Lost to Cocaine ~ Sander van Doorn Edit :: Sia

This song reminds me of the late nights I spent dancing away in clubs before I got married. I may not have had enough of those. I sometimes wish I hadn’t been as responsible as I was and had continued to go out dancing even after I was married, even if the ex never wanted to go out with me. At least more often than I did. There were handfuls of times that I managed in when I was living in Virginia and had friends who liked to go out. Things got way harder to do when I was a single mom. Well, that and the fact that I was hella depressed after the divorce. Can’t go back in time, but I’m not dead yet. Perhaps I can manage it soon.

8. 4th of July :: Soundgarden

Where do I start with this song? Probably my favorite song off this album, if not my favorite Soundgarden song. But the most significant thing about this song is that the day we left on my final deployment, as we were assembled on the flight deck, and I stared out onto the ocean, this song was playing in my head. The day before, the ex had tried to get me to sign separation papers so he could eventually divorce me. In Virginia, at least back in 2007, if you had kids, you had to be separated for a year before you could officially file for divorce. And I wanted to divorce him. However, the son of a bitch thought I wasn’t going to read the document, and as it turns out, the lawyer he had drafted that document had thought I was going to agree to pay HIM child support while I was on deployment. SO he could live in MY house and keep our kids without me around? I told him to fuck off, and I took the paperwork with me. I said like hell I would sign it. The separation would start when I GOT BACK from deployment, and that he wasn’t going to get a dime of child support from me while we were still married, and that I was going to be the one divorcing HIM, not the other way around. So this song is the song that got me through those rough first couple of days of that deployment. I fully expected to return and get divorced. That isn’t what happened, unfortunately. I came back, and instead he begged me to stay, and I capitulated like a fool.

9. Just Overture :: Aloboi

Am I the only person who gets influenced by TikTok for music? 😅 I might not buy the products or care for the ads at all. But the music that I hear will catch my ear even if the video is worthless. Thank goodness for that add to playlist button, or I’d miss out on new artists. It is probably my favorite thing about social media, since I don’t listen to the radio, and haven’t heard a college radio station in years. Do those still exist, and or transmit to the public? IDK. Popular media outlets just don’t play music, especially not new artists they way they used to in my youth. So I’d miss out anyway. It’s just as well.

10. Four Sticks ~ Alternate Mix :: Led Zeppelin

Funny story, this is the album with Stairway to Heaven. Which if you read my anecdote about my time on the prom committee, you’d have read about why I have this album. The other story about Led Zeppelin is that when I was in 7th grade, my father made a copy of his Led Zeppelin cassettes, and that, along with Poison, the Bon Jovi New Jersey Album, and Jimi Hendrix, were the cassettes I had with me to listen to on my Walkman on our road trip to Florida that summer.