Independently Minding My Own Business

This year, I am celebrating a whole different kind of Independence Day. Not the regular one I was conditioned to celebrate in the United States, which this year has become a performance comedy of the whims of a small-minded man of epic proportions, instead of a true milestone celebration. To the point that it has turned what remains of my family, who are in the United States, into versions of themselves which I don’t understand.

It is a fact known to me that my mother has no desire to move back to Guatemala to live. I am perfectly fine with having the geographic distance afforded by living in another country to keep me from having to deal with her nonsense daily.

But for some reason, unknown to me, her attitude towards the United States has become disproportionately positive. To the point where she has adopted a personality that feels like a show put on to prove to other people just how into the USA she is. Whether this is borne of fear because of things like the evil actions of a militant force sweeping through cities looking to persecute perfectly normal people just trying to live their lives, or her weird insistence that the US is just the best thing ever, all I know is that it makes me massively uncomfortable.

This year, she shared a super cringy text message in our designated family group chat. She literally said, “Y’all enjoy your 4th of July!” Eww. Cringe on so many levels. Never in all the years we lived in Texas together have I ever heard my mother use the word “Y’all”. So for her to use it now feels performative, fake, and super gross.

But that is typical of her. She will say and do anything to appear to be a certain way to someone else. To the point that she called me to ask me how I was enjoying the holiday. The holiday that is only celebrated in the United States and has literally no context to me while I am here in Guatemala. My response? I am celebrating this particular Independence Day by independently minding my own business. I heard my brother chuckle in the background, once again proving that no conversation I have with her is ever live on the air since she can’t take a call and not have it on speakerphone. The most performative way to communicate on the phone. Unless you are home alone, a speakerphone call in the company of others is only performance art.

The call ended almost immediately after. That call, the message, and the tone of the American news this past week leading up to today are on par with my current sentiment that I am exactly where I need to be at this time.